Stinky Linky

Some of you may have heard my little sister, Minnie Moo, call me "stinky." My whole family affectionately calls me "Stink-lon" or Stinkster or Stinky Linky. I try to keep pretty clean but I like to roll around in the grass. And if you've ever been a pug, it's pretty difficult to keep all those face wrinkles smelling likes roses. If you ask me, I smell better than Minnie but I guess that's a matter of opinion.
Anyway, I really smell right now or so I've been told repeatedly. Sometimes Mama takes me out in the front yard without a leash. I'm pretty good about staying right next to her. The two houses on either side of us are empty, so there isn't a whole lot of places I can go. Two houses down though, the neighbor just re-mulched her front yard. I'm not sure if you've ever smelled new mulch but it smells GREAT. Mama disagrees but boy, was it tasty. Yep, that's right TASTY, I tried me some manure that I found in the mulch. Between gagging and screeching, Mama managed to drag me away from one of the best meals ever.
Mama tried to wash my face off. Then she brushed my teeth. Supposedly, I still smell bad enough to make people's eyes water or remind them of a barn. No one wants me to cuddle or sit within five feet of them. Any ideas for dog breath mints?